blah, blah, blah

Blah Blah Blah pretty much describes my life right now. I have no urge to do much of anything. I don't get excited about much. I don't get really upset about much anymore. I'm just kinda blah, just going through the motions.  I've gained back every pound I lost plus picked up a few other strays. It's cold and I only leave the house if I have to. I need it to be summer soon. My winter blues is hitting me BAD this year.

Random

It's 5am and I should be deep in REM sleep. Yet, here I am awake with a hankering for pizza. Tonight's one of those nights I wish I didn't have feelings. I'm all in them now and it's not cool. I'm not all weepy or anything (that was last week -damn you aunt flo). I'm actually fighting the urge to be an outright bitch. So I'm avoiding. Keeping to myself so I don't let my actions come from a place of hurt. I'm slowly getting over it but, I have learned my 'place' you could say. I thought I was going to be able to learn to trust again but I'm starting to realize that I'm not that mature yet & at this present time I have no desire to be.

I know silly right?

I also think that it's funny the last few weeks I've been asked twice about my love life. And my reaction to both was meh....
I've been celibate for two years & I've gotten to the point where it doesn't even bother me anymore.

Yup, I'm crazy.

The thought of me having to share my space & be considerate of someone else's feelings.....
Shieeeet, I don't even like my own feelings.